i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
