marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
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Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone