oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number