I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car