Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
