TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dear god my vagina.
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