Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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