I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
