my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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