brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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