I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
