If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize