can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
