i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize