So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
