Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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