he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
