I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am naked and annoyed.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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