after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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