White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
