and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Terrible idea I love it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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