well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You ruined the universe
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
