You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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