My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
