I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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