I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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