Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
