ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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