Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
