I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
