Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Terrible idea I love it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
