My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
