he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
