This is not my ceiling
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
