Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
