I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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