yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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