discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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