susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
