I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize