and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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