I bet he comes in French.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
