Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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