see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor