You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?