Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?