You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.