I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.