My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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