But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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