Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
