Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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