I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize