got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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