So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
