I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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