just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
