white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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