that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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