I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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