So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
