imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Success! We fucked roommates!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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