can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
