have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
